Saturday, July 13, 2013

Looking back

I just read a post I made back in early December.

About how I deserved better then how my life was going at the time.  One of the main points was I deserved better then to be treated how I was being treated.

I guess I had sort of made it a resolution of sorts to change that.  To not let people treat me like shit.

I guess I haven't really been doing a great job at it.

This has been a pretty bad year for my depression, since I was in a funk that lasted about 5 months.  I let people continue to disregard my feelings, or my thoughts, or even just me in general.

I'm pretty ashamed of that.  I always think of myself as a strong women.   Maybe thats because I'm stubborn but I come from a line of very strong women, on both sides of my family and right now I'm feeling like I'm letting them all down because of how much I'm letting my life happiness be dictated by other people.

Hopefully someday I'll learn to stop.  But right now I'm just struggling to survive.

It was also about how I deserved a man who wanted me for me.  That still hasn't happened yet either.  I'm still dealing with residual effects of the past few men to have hurt me.  More on that another time.

No comments:

Post a Comment